apexart Fellow Journal

Mar 7

mvelo-apexart

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 26

This morning I was finally able to go and visit the NY SGI Buddhist centre which was just down the same road as the apartment, just over union square park. I was able to catch the Sunday meeting and chanted along with members which made me feel at home. What I truly appreciate about my practice is that even if I were dropped in an unfamiliar place, the first place I could always go to is an SGI centre. Funny enough, Tina Turner was also a practising member and I got to see a photograph that was taken of her chanting, when I went to the National Museum Of African America History and Culture, in DC. Donna was also there and she warmly invited me to come stay with her whenever I decided to come back to visit NY. I’m thankful to her. After the meeting ended, I rushed back to the apartment and finished off the last bit of packing as well as cleaning the apartment. 

I felt so much gratitude for the apartment and how much of a safe space it became for me. Another thing that I really enjoyed about the apartment was the imprints of the previous fellows that were decorated around the room. Some things were foreign money, others were notes and a lot was through the types of tea’s and seasonings that were left behind. I liked knowing that I too would leave my little imprint and without getting too deep about it, we exist in so many spaces even if we aren’t physically there. Finally wrapping it up, I made my way downstairs after managing to call an uber. I would also miss my daily engagements with the Doorman called Danny. He would always make sure that I was ok and would always greet me cheerfully. 

Getting into my Uber, I asked the driver if I could sit in the front as I again wanted to experience being a passenger in what would be the drivers seat back home. He thankfully allowed me to and we started chatting away. His name is Ansong and he’s originally from Ghana, but moved over for the first time in 2001 with his children. We spoke about his experiences in NY and what it was like having to raise his children in a western way but trying to balance and instil African traditions. The funniest thing he told me was about how he had to navigate disciplining his children, because back home in Ghana and serenallly in Africa, if your child is misbehaving, you would spank them. However, that was viewed very negatively in the US. And so to avoid having his children misbehaving, he started implementing a system where he bought them a phone, and made sure that once they arrived at school, they would call him. Then when they got home from school, they had to call him Since he knew what time the school let students out, and the minutes it took for his children to get home, he made sure that they had to call him using the home phone by the calculated time. In this way, he found it a great way of instilling discipline but also protection for his children. The last conversation we had was about how the 21st century, is the century for Africa and that African countries really needed to rally and unite to leverage our relationships with other continents so that it would best benefit Africa and its people. One example was brought up was the current President of Burkina Faso, Ibrahim Traore. He reminds me a lot of Thomas Sankara, who wanted to foster Pan Africanism while tending to the needs of the people of Burkina Faso. Just before arriving at the airport, I took down Ansongs details which he said that when I do decide to come back for a visit, I could reach out to him. 

Looking back on my experience here in NY, I’m so happy about how much I’ve learned about every single person I’ve engaged with. Reflecting on my journalling, one detail that I’ve mostly stuck to, which I truly appreciate that I’ve done, is writing down the names of each person. I was intentional about this because they too, added so much perspective in understanding the story of NY but also for me, helped facilitate the vision of the fellowship program. It’s reminded me that everyone has a story, ambition or thing to say and that from time to time, we should step out of our bubbles and connect with the unfamiliar. I’m also really happy about how this experience of being a stranger has made me feel a whole lot more comfortable with randomly striking up conversations with people. As for my experience of this fellowship program, I must say that I am still digesting everything. As Steven mentioned, I’ll mostly likely only see the effects overtime. 

My biggest shout-out and point of gratitude, however, goes to the person who nominated me in the first place. My lecturer during my time studying Architecture, Solam Mkhabela. When I first arrived, Steven asked me if I knew why Solam nominated me. I asked Solam, this question as I actually hadn’t asked before, and rather assumed. He essentially told me that he believed in me as a young artist and the work that I do and wanted to help facilitate my growth. He saw this program as a great opportunity for this facilitation in growth. Throughout my time in NY, he constantly checked in on me and encouraged me. Since Solam himself had lived and studied in NY more than 20 years ago, it was amazing for me to be able to see some of the places he mentioned, when telling me about his experiences.

Mar 7

mvelo-apexart

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 25

Last night, I made a timed plan of how I would see the museums today. I would start off by going to the Whitney just as it opened and leave in time so that I could make it to the exhibition at Apexart with Fabiola. Afterwards, I would go around the are with Ryan to see galleries and then would make my way to the MOMA, stay for 2 hours and then make my way to the Met before it closed. My plan was very ambitious, but I’d give it a try. Making my way over to the Whitney Museum, I took the bus from the apartment. Once I stepped off, I had to walk a couple blocks and I realised that the streets leading to the museum reminded me so much of what looked to me like European streets. It felt so different from most parts of NY that I had been to. It was beautiful nonetheless. I was so excited that I could now engage with art and see many works. I started off  by seeing the artist Harold Cohen whose works were considered the first form or reach at AI art. His works were created by using plotters that would be preprogrammed in such a way that you could attach pens and the machine would draw lines and images based on the points he would plug in. It was fascinating watching a machine draw a picture. The Whitney Museum has balconies on each floor which allow you to go up or down a floor instead of taking an elevator, so I got to see another view and skyline of New York that faced East, towards Broadway. It’s so interesting seeing New York from above or a higher perspective as opposed to being on the ground. I savoured this view and made my way back into the building and came across some modern contemporary artworks. Then I made my way over onto the other floors and came across a painting by artist Edward Hooper called ‘Woman in the sun’  which I had recently seen online by chance and it intrigued me. So seeing it in person I was able to appreciate it even more. 

With only a couple minutes left, I quickly made my way over to apexart for the curatorial tour of “Build what we hate. Destroy what we love”. What a powerful title as well. I had walked in just as the tour was about to start and greeted the curator Fabiola. There were quite a few other guests as well and we all stood in the Gallery section of the apexart building. Its funny because I was finally able to see this room even though I could only see a sliver of it when I would meet with Nia. So my curiosity was being satiated. The exhibition was such a beautiful and powerful ode to Venezuela, its people, and the documentation of migration out of the country. I had not known that Venezuela had one of the highest rates of migration out of the country, with people trying to seek a better life for themselves. Fabiola combed through the artists works and also gave perspective on what these migrations would involve. We looked at video work, photographs and installations which all had really heartfelt stories attached to them. My favourite was the tapestry installation by the artist Cassandra Mayela, which were stories literally woven together using fabrics donated by people who migrated over to the US from Venezuela. These fabrics were pants that people wore during the migration, shirts that people wore to their first job in the States, bags that were used to carry personal items when migrating. It was such a sentimental piece of work representing the hopes and dream of these people. 

Afterwards, Ryan and I head out to go see some galleries in the area. When I first visited the apexart office, I walked passed so many galleries which made me think that apexart was situated in an area where you’d usually find galleries. To my surprise, Ryan had told me that this wasn’t the case a few years ago, with apexart being the one of the only gallery around. I wonder why so many galleries picked this area to open up. Nonetheless, we stumbled upon some interesting works which I really liked. There was one body of work that I like in particular throughout our whole galley hopping. The artists name is Paulo Nimar Pjota, whose paintings at first glance look so whimsical and ethereal. I later looked his works up and saw that his works are inspired by a mix of mythology, realism and architecture. There was an installation we had also seen at a different gallery that was exhibiting works which created optical illusions through the use of reflection. My eyes and brain could not understand what I was looking at and I thought to myself if this piece of work were displayed in prehistoric times, people would think you’re a witch or magician, hahah. Through our wandering, I got to know a bit about what Ryan does outside of Apexart and the types of art/creation he delves in. It was really interesting engaging with someone who has a foot in multiple disciplines and their process. One our way back to the apexart office, we came across the most intriguing synagogue I’ve ever seen. It was wedged between two buildings and was a complete contrast as its facade had no windows at all and looked like a concrete curved form. What made it even more beautiful was that the building opposite it had windows which reflected the suns light onto the synagogue faceted, giving it this ghostly impression of windows. Upon arriving back at apexart, I wished everyone farewell and thanked them for looking after me during my stay. It was a little bit sad, again, having to say goodbye but all the more to cherish the connections. 

I immediately made my way over to the MOMA which was quite packed, and realised very quickly that I would not make it to the MET. There was too much to see, and too little time. I would keep The MET visit for another time. I absolutely loved the huge open space I was greeted with when entering the MOMA building. I made my way through the building and was amazed at how big some of the works were. It was insane thinking that all this space could exist in New York, just for art from all over the world. I did my best to pace myself but also wanted to see as much as I could. Childhood me would have been so happy to know that I stumbled on 2 huge Monet paintings of the water lilies and got a real good look at his works. I always really loved Monet’s paints and his impressionist style. Moving from room to room I started getting overwhelmed by how many works there are and by so many artists I love. After having my fill, I decided to go to the MOMA store downstairs and bought a few small gifts for some friends. I really needed to start packing and cleaning so rushed back to the apartment. On the way back, I savoured my last subway ride and thought of how much I had grown from feeling so clueless to finally getting a grasp. 

Mar 7

mvelo-apexart

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 24

Last night before sleeping I had been doing research on the best way I could get to Governor’s Island from Manhattan. Even though governors Island opens at 7am, I could only see that Ferry’s were going over from 10am, and I needed to be there at 9:00am. So as a just incase, I decided to get to the ferry terminal at 9:00am. Once I got to the terminal, I was asked to walk further down the road to catch another ferry as their ferries were not operating. I finally was able to catch a ferry which only took 8 minutes to cross over. Hopping off and as I walked further into the Island, I was met with an eerie feeling that also produced curiosity. There was almost no one in sight and everything was empty and I was surrounded by abandoned old buildings. This would be the perfect place to shoot films. It also truly reminded me of The Walking Dead, hahaha. I finally got to the Earth Matter post, where I would be helping with composting. When I arrived there were only 4 people which got me a little worried as I was expecting other volunteers. Turns out, The 4 people on site where the workers and carers of Earth Matter, and they had sent an email to people late last night that they were cancelling the volunteer program today due to weather concerns. Haha! They asked if I wanted to still stay which I said yes to because why pass up the chance? I learnt about the composting projects that Earth Matter had been doing for years, and the process behind it - which was so interesting. The compost mounds, due to natural bacterial reactions, would release heat. These heaps were steaming and when I measured the temperature, it was sitting at 160 Fahrenheit (71 degrees Celsius), which is insanely hot, even in the winter cold. They had chickens on site who would benefit from the compost heaps by catching worms. I even got to hold one for the first time and her name was Angel! I was put to work on shovelling up and bagging the refined compost which would be sent all over NY to community gardens with Green Thumb being the distributor. It was a full circle moment because of may previous activities with community gardens, I was able to see the bigger picture and different elements that would help contribute to the survival of community gardens. I really want to find communities like this in South Africa and get involved. 

The one person I was working with, David, who works for Earth Matter, told me about their very recent struggles with government funding for Earth Matter. For the last 15 years, Earth Mater would get funding from government to keep the organisation running as they fell under the sanitations sector by collecting and converting household scraps and turning them into compost which would help community gardens grow plants, fruits and vegetables all over NY allowing for Zero Waste. However, since Eric Adams has come into office, his cabinet have seen no reason to continue the funding which puts Earth Matter and their vision of a Zero Waste Island at huge risk. From what I’ve heard so far about Eric Adams, I’m really not liking him. David also shared a lot of history about Governor’s Island and how it came to be. After finishing up, and thanking the team for letting me stay and help, I made my way back to the ferry and off the Island. Since I had a big gap of time until my last activity, I had planned to meet 2 people. One was Donna from The Bronx who had just come back from a trip to Johannesburg, and whom I got connected to through my mother when they met at the SGI Buddhist centre as we are all practicing buddhists. The other person was Sonia who had just come back from her fellowship in Uruguay. 

What was funny about meeting with Donna was that she suggested we go for Thai food, which coincidentally was what Nia, over a week ago, had put on my calendar to try out but I still had not done so. I was in some ways killing 2 birds with one stone, hahaha. One main takeaway from my meeting with Donna was her experience of having to deal with the transition of working and then retiring. She used to be a principal at a school for years and just recently retired, which was such a huge transition for her as she had to now find a new purpose and identity for herself outside of being a teacher & principal. And so it took her 4 years to get to a point where she’s learning new things about herself, and surprising herself by opening up to things she would have never said yes to. This made me think of my mom and how she will navigate this transition in the next couple years. I also loved how Donna’s experience coincided with my time in NY, where I was being exposed to new things and learning what’s not so much for me and what I want to do more of.

After meeting with Donna, I walked my way over to Washington Park to meet with Sonia. The huge archway when approaching the park was so beautiful and reminded me of the one in Paris. I had arrived 30 minutes earlier, so sat and people watched then started reading the book that Nancy gave me. While people watching, I noticed that there were so many young people out and about, skating, talking and doing activities together, which made sense because we were in the middle of the NYU campus buildings. Sonia and her husband arrived thankfully bringing some tea which we could all sip on and keep warm as we sat on the benches. It felt wholesome being able to make a plan to meet after having only met over zoom. We had a lovely chat for nearly 2 hours and I got to know more about her and her husband. As we got up to part ways, the sun was setting and had the sky painted in beautiful hues of pink and purple while buildings & street lights started coming on. I think this is the best sunset I’ve experienced during my time here. Sonia took a photo of me under the arches with the pink skies in the background. 

Walking back over to the apartment I could help but feel a little sad that I would be leaving this beautiful place called NY. I then prepared myself for the Gotham writing Zoom session which I interpreted as Improv but for writers. Once the session began, we were given an audio prompt, which sounded like a busy restaurant. We were given 15 minutes to come up with something and then if we wanted, we could share our writings. I wrote mine from a perspective of how the sounds made me feel and how much of a sensory overload it was, as if I was physically experiencing this as well. I didn’t share my writing but listened to other peoples pieces and wow, they were very descriptive not just in the feelings of the sounds but also creating a picture of being in a restaurant with silverware in front of them and all the people around. We were given another prompt, this time a word. We did the same thing and finished the zoom session. That was interesting and fun as I had never done Gotham writing before or even heard of it before. With a couple hours left before 9pm, I thought I could maybe squeeze in a visit to the Whitney Museum but then decided I’d rather do it tomorrow with all the other museums and galleries I would be seeing tomorrow.

Mar 7

mvelo-apexart

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 23

This morning I woke up to an email, pertaining to a car accident I had met up in last year, that left me feeling extremely anxious and stressed.  Essentially the insurance company that was meant to cover me had not done their job and without any warning I was being sent a letter of demand with invoices by the insurance company of the person I got into an accident with. It was a hefty bill.  I’m specifically mentioning this because it was interesting to see where my headspace went to, and spiralled down thoughts of, “what jobs do I have coming up?”, “I’m going to have to take a loan…” and basically “How am I going to make money?”. Its also interesting because I could see this gap between he vision of apexart and my situation at hand, where the artist does what they can to ensure their works sell, even if it means trying to climb the social ladder, creating more ‘likeable’ works, or giving into the game of it all. After a couple phone calls and calming myself down a bit, I looked at my calendar and saw that I would be going to a Mosque/ Masjid.

Arriving at the mosque, I was warmly greeted by a lady named Latifah, who out of cultural respect I called Aunty Latifah. One interesting thing to note is that a lot of POC communities tend to refer to each other as “aunty” or “uncle” followed by their name, when showing respect to someone you’ve just met who is older than you. Sometimes it even extends to calling someone sister/ brother as opposed to saying their name only. When I told her I was from South Africa, she joked and called my country “winners” because we had won against her country, Morocco, in the African Cup Of Nations - a soccer tournament that happens every 4 years through the continent. This was not my first time in a mosque, with my latest visit being a friend of mine getting married (Nikkah) a few days before my trip over to NY. Its so interesting walking into different spaces of worship because each time, I’ve always felt peace come over me. Today was no different. Even though I came dressed appropriately and with a scarf, Aunty Latifah lent me a scarf and throw-over dress which they usually give to visitors. The mosque was beautiful with influences from Turkish styles, and had a central feature of lights hanging from a domed ceiling in the shape of a circle. Here, I made a little prayer that I would get through my situation as I did still feel uneasy. After leaving the mosque, I made my way back to the apartment and prepped for the zoom with Tom 

I made my way over to the community centre where I would be joining a cardio class. There were quite a lot of people and I recognised 2 ladies who I had previously seen at the belly dance class and Zumba class. The dance instructor, a small middle aged asian woman, came ups to the front and started playing the music and movements. To say I was blown away would be an understatement. I was caught so off guard because I did not expect that she would break into full hip hop moves, Congolese & other African moves, and Zumba dance styles. I swear she could’ve been in the dance movie “Step Up”. She was also ruthless, hahaha, I was sweating so much trying to keep up with her, I had so much fun. While she started instructing us and shouting out counts or even hyping us up, I realised her accent was very Japanese. So once the class was over, I asked someone if she was Japanese just in case, which they said yes. So I made my way over to her and we spoke in Japanese and I just thanked her for such an amazing class and her talent. There was also another Japanese person in the class as well and so we all started introducing ourselves and what parts of Japan we were connected to and how we all found ourselves in NY. One thing that’s become a bit of a  rarity in my life is being able to just speak Japanese only with other Japanese people aside from my mother because in South Africa there aren’t that many Japanese people or people who can speak Japanese. And so I can tell my Japanese is quickly fading from my tongue, so this was nice. The Japanese lady who had also joined the class told me she currently lived in the Bronx and that when she told people, a lot of them would wonder what she was doing there and they would have this idea that it wasn’t safe at all. I definitely related to this because of my upbringing and again another reference to Chimamanda Adichi Ngozi’s TED Talk on the dangers of a single story. 

Once I got home, I realised that the cardio dancing helped me really relive a lot of the stored tension and stress I had due to the email this morning. I definitely felt a whole lot better and more reassured in the outcome of knowing that this was all caused by the insurance cover on my side not doing their job and that they would get it fixed. 

Mar 7

mvelo-apexart

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 22

This morning I was to meet with Donald for our rescheduled tour that was supposed to happen on Monday. Instead of meeting at the Lincoln centre, we met in Brooklyn and made our way to the Forte Greene area. Before we began our tour, we sat down for some breakfast and spoke about our respective countries in context to the black experience, oppression, politics, Identity and gentrification. The conversation around identity was such an interesting one that had my mind in a bit of a twist. How do we view identity and what constitutes someone calling themselves ‘American’ or ’South African’? Is it based on the fact of being born in that country? Or perhaps your experiences? Or your historical ties? Its especially interesting for me because my mom was born and bred in Japan, has been living in South Africa for nearly 30 years, and fully considerers herself to be South African. I think identity is something that is in constant motion even though roots are being set up along the way. 

We then made our way over to Forte Greene park where I briefly got to see some historical artefacts and structures. Donald told me about the contributions that Black soldiers made to the war effort during the American revolution, yet the tragic reality that they faced of having never been recognised for their victories let alone their place in society. We walked around the neighbourhood and I learnt that Fort Greene was initially a mostly lower income POC community which over the years has gone under gentrification. I always find it interesting how gentrification of an area allows it to become more accessible, solves issues like safety and adequate service delivery. Yet it starts pushing out the communities who lived there long before, due to things like property value skyrocketing. We then walked by Spike Lee’s studio, which was wild to see, its walls covered in art and references to some of his works. As we made our way down the road, we stumbled on an apartment entrance which had 2 signs - 1 being “Black Lives Matter” and the other “Defund the NNYPD”. Its funny that we saw the signs at that moment because we had just spoken about Mayor Eric Adams and how he’s essentially cut financial budgets from the education sector, and redistributing it to the NYPD. Very interesting…

Donald really took me on a whole tour because we then hopped onto a ferry that would take us from Brooklyn to the financial district at the southern point of Manhattan. I got to see the skyline again, as well as the underside fo the bridges. Hopping off, we made our way over to a corner on Wall Street where slave trades would happen. It was a little bit sad, standing on the corner, only seeing a small signage that indicated this piece of history. I myself initially missed it completely. Standing in the middle of  Wall Street and on the Slave trade corner made me think of a song by one of my favourite artists, Damien Marley, called ’Slave Mill’ which essentially speaks on the notion of modern slavery and “working’ for your dollar bill”.  I saw the infamous TRUMP tower as we made our way towards the African Burial Ground National Monument which was a bit of a shock knowing that it was the largest known excavated burial ground in America. 

I truly enjoyed speaking and navigating spaces with Donald because of how passionate he is about NYC and the new experience of New York that I got. We bid each other farewell and I made my way over towards my last therapy session with Nancy. I was running quite early, so decided to look for a cafe around the building. One thing about me, I’m not the most spatially aware person, which means a lot of the time, I walk while looking at the ground. As a I crossed the road and started walking on the pavement, I noticed that some had just walked across me and I caught sight of their hand. The shocking and maybe slightly embarrassing thing was that I RECOGNISED that hand. Specifically the tattoos on the hand. In one of my journals I mentioned that one of my favourite series is the Walking Dead and that I was trying to finish watching it. I managed to finish watching it 2 days ago. So seeing that hand was the best and most random surprise I could’ve experienced. It belonged to Norman Reedus, A.K.A Daryl Dixon!!! The first thing I said to him was “OH MY GOSH!!!” and proceeded to apologise for my mini freak-out, followed by telling him that I had just finished watching the series. We spoke for a moment with him asking where I was from and why I was here, which led to me mentioning apexart. AHHHHHH! So wild! He was with one of the directors of the series who I greeted and then said my “thanks you” to both of them while walking away. I genuinely could believe my luck, hahaha! What a rush! I quickly found a cafe, connected to the wifi and called my partner to tell him. 

After fan-girling, I made my way over to Nancy’s office and told her who I bumped into. Turns out, her daughter has working relations with The Walking Dead series. What are the odds?! I was a little sad it was my last time seeing Nancy but we had a lovely conversation. Even though it is her job, I’ve really appreciated Nancy listening to what I’ve had to say and how understanding she’s been. As a general thought, I think its nice if everyone were able to have the access to therapy. All bad connotations aside, it’s really nice having someone who is so far removed from your life, to share certain thoughts and feeling with, and could possibly help give you perspective. In relation to the fellowship, again, its been so wonderful having someone to talk to cause of how at times you could feel alone. At the end of our session, Nancy had gifted me the book “women who run with the wolves”. Definitely shed a couple of tears because over a year ago, someone had strongly recommended the book to me and I never really got the chance to purchase it. And here it was, being gifted to me. That combined with my overall gratitude. What a great day this was. Another noteworthy thing is that Nancy’s office was finally done with construction. So I was able to witness the full cycle of her office repair. After our session ended, I made my way downstairs and had a lovely conversation with the door man Joe. We spoke for a little while about Joes background as an artist/ graphic designer who then embarked on multiple changes in his career and how happy he is doing the job he currently does. He prides himself in being the first point of contact with people entering the building. We were so deep in conversation that I didn’t realise I was running a bit late for my meeting with Nia. 

Nia and I caught up on what I had done through the last week, but of course the first thing I started off with was telling her that I met Norman Reedus which shocked her, hahaha! While catching up on the events of the last week, Steven and Nancy came passed. Ahhh, still couldn’t believe that it was going to be the last time seeing them… until some point in the future hopefully. I said my goodbyes to everyone knowing I’d at least see Nia, Ash and Ryann one more time. 

Once I got back to the apartment, I started prepping supper and got distracted only to realise that I had missed my Reiki zoom! I felt so horrible for having missed it as I was also looking forward to it. 

Mar 7

mvelo-apexart

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 21

Today, I was going in to apexart to meet up with Steven for my exit Lunch. How did time fly by so fast?! I felt as though just yesterday I had my introductory lunch with Nia and Steven. After arriving at apexart, I spoke with Nia and Ryan for a bit, before Nia said “ok, lets go upstairs”, with Ryan getting up. I was so confused in the moment and realised that I kept looking at my calendar schedule as “Exit lunch” as opposed to “Exit interview and Lunch”. I felt so embraced but also laughed at myself and then realised I would be doing the interview. Thankfully, Nia and Ryan reassured me that it would be alright and that it was essentially me reflecting on my stay in NYC, but in front of camera as opposed to journalling. This was also the first time I got to see another part of the apex art building and let me tell you! It is so beautiful with its aged features and winding staircase that just keeps going up. We made it to the 2nd floor where all previous interviews took place with all other fellows. Sitting in front of the camera and answering somme of the questions Nia asked had my brain short circuiting. One thing about me, even though I’m able to converse with people I’ve just met, I always freeze up when it comes to anything public speaking related. Nonetheless, Nia had asked me a few question about my experience at apex and among them was the question of what I found most challenging over my time in NY. It was hard to really say exactly what I found challenging but I settled on mentioned how hard I found it to eat out just because of how overwhelming it was to see so many different options around every single corner. So I mostly just cooked my own food. Another thing I found challenging was the notion of finding myself feeling alone at times because even though I made so fleeting connections with people, it was just till the end of the activity we were doing. After that, I had to move onto the next thing. So it was a little bit hard knowing that I most likely wouldn’t see any of these people again unless I came back to NYC and kept in touch with them. That being said, I did welcome the experience of living completely alone because it was the first time I’ve ever experienced that. From living under my moms roof to getting a place with my partner, experiencing a month alone was interesting. 

Thinking on it now, another challenge I realised was how tired I started feeling. I can definitely attribute it to my body still trying to readjust to a routine as well as the constant moving around all day. It’s not anything negative at all. Just a realisation again that this whole month I’ve walked more than I ever have in the last year. I think that in itself says a lot about getting stuck in a certain routine and way of life that sometimes needs diversifying. From sitting at a desk editing all day to maybe implementing walking breaks. If I had to share some advice to incoming fellows, especially those who experience a large gap in timezones from NYC, try to regulate as quickly and best as you can. Also be prepared to walk a lot, so stay comfortable. Sometimes prepare yourself for the walks you might pick over taking the subway because of how intriguing the city is :)

After finishing up with my exit interview, I went back downstairs with Nia and met with Steven for the exit lunch. We ate at the same place, right next to apexart office, that I had my intro meeting which I was happy with because the food was amazing. Also its so sweet seeing Steven mention how he knows the menu like the back of his hand. Wags was with us as well. I’ve definitely gotten used to the idea of how wags came to be and still share with my friends, his story. Still amazed by it all. I definitely felt a lot more comfortable and less awkward than I did the first time I sat down and spoke with Steven. One big takeaway from the meeting aside from my experience over the month, was what an amazing job Nia was able to do, coordinating and organising my schedule. I was her first NYC Fellow and I was so happy that she was the person looking after me from afar. I would say that personally I was happy because we were both the same age, people of colour and she’s extremely knowledgable on so much which offers new insight into conversations that we’ve had. Speaking to Steven after my experience so far in NY had me feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude. I’ve come to see that while I alone was invited to join this program, I am able to share my experience with others back home. And in that way, the vision of apexart somewhat lives exponentially past my physical experience. 

So thank you very much for providing such a rare opportunity to me and every fellow that has come before and will come after me. 

After the lunch, I stayed a little bit longer and chatted with Nia, Ryan and Ash before heading to the library screening of the movie “The Big Lebowski”. I really enjoyed talking with the apexart team and getting to know them even more, which lifted my spirits. They’re all such good people. :)

I made my way over to the library and found myself in a small room with a couple other people, and watched The Big Lebowski. I’ve attempted watching the movie before, a very long time ago, but have no idea why I didn’t finish it. So this felt like I was watching it for the first time. The movie definitely made me laugh at times because of the things we find ourselves doing for money. After the movie, I decided to walk back to the apartment instead of taking the subway as it was close and I could see some stores. I got to stop by a thrift store and take a look at what they had. 

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 20

Today, the only activity I had was a tour of the Lincoln Centre. Feeling a lot more rejuvenated and well rested, I made my way to the subway at union square. I was a little bit nervous about jumping the turnstile again but this time, there would most likely be a few NYPD officials. I started thinking of what I could tell them, and realised I left the envelope I was given by the Metro official to report and send back damaged cards. I settled on trying to swipe my card over and over, jumping over and then telling the officer what happened. But this time, when I took my card out and swiped, it actually started working again! Definitely saved me money, time and jumping. Its quite sunny today but still a bit cold. I made my way back to familiar views of the Lincoln Centre. I was still 15 minutes early so I placed around before calling Donald. Upon calling Donald, he told me that he had spoken to Nia the night before about postponing the tour as the guide fell ill. I was a bit surprised as I had somehow completely missed the text from Nia, telling me that she was moving the activity to a different day. I thanked Donald, apologised and stopped by a street Vendor for some tea and a croissant. On the corner of Lincoln and Columbus street were a couple of benches in the middle of the road. I decided to sit there and have my tea and croissant while soaking up the warmth of the sun. I sat there for about an hour, realising that it was the first time I felt so still in NYC. The roads themselves were quite still as it was a public holiday. Nia had mentioned that I could maybe try doing some things that I haven’t done before within today. But I realised I needed to just be still and indoors. So I made my way back to Union Square, exited from a different entrance just to see where it would lead me and as I walked out, I saw that I was right by the market! The market I kept missing. There were many products being sold like breads, lavender oils, maple syrup and an array of vegetables. As I rounded the corner I saw that there was a huge book store called, Barnes & Noble. I went right in, and felt at home seeing books I’ve read, or have been wanting to get. It’s quite a huge book store with 4 floors, so I stayed for about an hour before returning back to the apartment. I spent the rest of my day cooking, journaling, finishing off my series, planning my last week in NYC, and looking through the apartment shelf for a diary that Casey said I should read, with notes and messages from previous fellows. 

I can’t believe I’m already leaving soon. Where did all the time go? How am I having my exit lunch tomorrow already?! As I’ve grown older,, I feel as though time has started collapsing in on itself an its just moving by  faster and faster. Months feel like days nowadays. 

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 19

Waking up initially at about 8am after sleeping 4 hours, I contemplated on if I’d be able to make it to my first activity. My body was aching and I had made some flu preventative concoction because of my body chills. After an hour, I made the decision to rather stay in and recuperate as the activity would require me to travel for an hour and was taking place outdoors. I fell asleep again and only got up at about 1pm. I felt sad about not being able to make it to the activity which was based in Queens, meaning that I was missing out on another opportunity to see a part of Queens. I made a mental note to do my best and try fit it somewhere in my last week to at least see the park. Later in the day, I went out to run an errand and while making my way back to the apartment, my Metrocard, which was not expired, denied me access into the station. I kept on trying and realised that in some way, my card was not reading meaning it must have gotten a bit damaged. I clearly have some bad karma with the Metro card. Because the train was approaching, and there was not one around to help me, I jumped the turnstile. I laugh at the irony of the shock of seeing people do it when I first arrived and then now finding myself doing the same thing. Could I categorise this as a New York experience? Haha! 

In the evening, since Astoria was a little closer to the apartment and my next activity was indoors, I was able to go for the trivia night. It was fun but wished I could play with other people as opposed to by myself. Nevertheless I treated it as a quick date with myself and ate my first taco’s outside of South Africa and it was amazing. Not a lot of people take themselves out for dinner and society usually looks at it as something to avoid doing, but maybe those who do take themselves out find tranquility and fulfil their curiosity as they people watch. Maybe I could implement solo dinner dates every now and then. As soon as trivia ended, I left, spoke to an official at the train station and safely made my way back to the apartment. I was exhausted and slept  for 10 hours. 

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 18

This morning, I woke up, checked out at 11 am and luckily because I packed light, just carried my backpack with me everywhere. Today I was going to the National Mall and doing a self guided tour. Seeing the Capitol building in the distance, I realised that time felt different here unlike NY. Walking 30 min in NY for me feels like 15 minutes. But 30 min in DC feels like 40 min. I took the bus down to the national mall and started off on my tour. Before following starting the guide given to me online, I made a stop at the National Museum of the American Indian. I intentionally made this stop because I had never seen or interacted with anything on native Americans expect for online. At school and through the years, I’ve always learnt so much about the construction and colonial occupation of the US but never formally learnt much on the indigenous people and life before. To say the least, I walked out of there feeling extremely emotional. Extremely emotional and frustrated. I absolutely hate the idea that the progress of a lot of our societies to what it is today meant the culling and exploitation of indigenous people, indigenous customs and indigenous knowledge. And I say this as an African. But alas, let me not open those can of worms. 

My next stop was the Smithsonian National museum of Natural History. I was so excited to see fossils. But when I got there, it was packed to the brim. I experienced complete sensory overload as I tried walking through the building and marvelling over preserved remains of history while also keeping an eye out for time as I still had to make a bunch of different stops which were walks away. I could only stay inside for about 30 minutes. I then made my way to the National Museum of African History and Culture. It made me so happy seeing a structure dedicated to preserving archives on black culture from sports, to music, to art and film/performance. Again, I was quite overwhelmed by everything I wanted to see but also keeping an eye out for time. Walking to see everything had cut out so much time. I moved onto my next stop which was the Washington memorial park. At this point, my face and fingers were frozen. The thing I realised with DC or at least this particular region in the Capitol Hill was that, since there were no tall buildings and just flat land, the wind was brutal. That mixed in with the temperature and sho, I was going through it. Seeing the memorial tower was incredible though because I had only seen it in cartoons and films. And there it was, in all its glory in front of my eyes. I then made my way to the Martin Luther King  memorial which was so beautiful. From the stone carving to the lake. It looked so peaceful. I sadly couldn’t say long because of time and had to make my way to the Lincoln memorial. With my times, I was running about an hour over time. Making it to the m emorial, I could only stand there for about 5 minutes, because there were so many people. Looking aback at the view from the Lincoln memorial was incredible. I then made my way over to my last stop on the self guided tour at the Vietnam memorial, which was constructed beautifully. There was definitely a sombre atmosphere around as I could see there were people who were placing photos and flowers in front of some names, obviously for people they knew.  I then made my way to the nearest bus stop, waiting for it to pick me up and take me back to Union Station for my bus out of DC. I was in a little bit of a panic with time because the bus was not coming, I was cold, and also extremely hungry because in the rush of walking around, I forgot to sit down and have lunch. Since the bus was not coming, and there was a problem with my uber app, I had to walk to Union Station which was an hour away from where I was. Once I got to the station, I finally got something to eat and drink and reflected on the days events. 

While I enjoyed parts of my experience, I felt a bit disappointed at how my day turned out. In a place surrounded by so much history, knowledge, art, and things I’ve never seen before, I barely felt as though I got to truly experience any of it. And I say this without the intention of sounding ungrateful. This put into question the agency I have over my own experience within this program. Do I try doing everything on the calendar to say that I did it? Or do I immerse myself into an experience as best as I can to say that I understand it? Or rather how do I balance the both? It’s hard for me to say because to be in a new environment, all I want to do is see everything and do everything so i’ll push myself knowing that I might not get another chance anytime soon. But then at what cost?

I finally got onto the bus and this time, someone sat next to me. I tried sleeping for the first hour of the bus ride, but was too uncomfortable, so could not sleep at all. The person sitting next to me, Rishard, started talking to me and we immediately hit it off! We spoke the entire way from Baltimore to NYC, 4 hours straight. He told me about his background growing up half Jamaican and half Nigerian, his reconnection to his Nigerian identity, growing up in NY but then working in DC, his career successes and extensive travels. It was so refreshing speaking to a young, Black, Queer and Successful individual working their way through the corporate construction and banking world. Of the many things we spoke about, we spoke about the politics of America, and I was shocked again at just how intense the cost of living has become. We spoke about Roe v. Wade and overall voting in the upcoming elections for both South Africa and America. One last thing we spoke about was him encouraging me to come back to DC. We arrived back in NYC almost an hour after the scheduled time, and rode part of the subway together. I got off first, and got to the apartment at 1:30am feeling so happy that I was back. Over the last couple weeks, this apartment has felt so homely and also been such a comforting space that I’ve been happy to return to everyday. 

I couldn’t sleep properly from body chills and could only get to sleep at 4:00am.

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 17

I woke up early this morning at about 4:30am for the Megabus to leave NYC for DC at 7am. I had timed myself in such a way that I would arrive at least 25 min before departure time (the Megabus suggests 15 minutes), which was ample time. However, as I got to the subway, I realised my card needed to be filled up again for the week so that I could enter the subway. In that short 1-2 minutes, I ended up missing my N train out, which lead me going into full panic mode. The Mega Bus was only 16 minutes away via car, but 25 minutes via the next train with a couple minutes. This meant that the next train would see that I end up arriving at the Megabus 5 minutes before departure. I couldn’t let that happen, but I had no choice as Uber had a waiting time which I couldn’t risk, another train was on its way and the Lyft app was also not an option because it couldn’t work on both my phone and fellowship phone. I even consulted with an NYPD officer, who must’ve thought I was a little crazy in my panic state. I tried breathing to calm myself down and made the split second decision to just hop onto the next train and sprint as soon as I got to my last stop. Thankfully the train was slightly faster than usual, and as soon as I got to my last stop, I ran so fast. I ran up the escalators at 34 Herald square station and let me say, it was a nightmare because the escalators at that specific station seem endless. As I exited the station a kind stranger, who I think could’ve been homeless, saw that I was running and asked me where I needed to be and then quickly pointed me in the right direction to the bus which I could see in the distance. What a moment I will be so grateful for. I ran down the road, and made it to the bus, and when I got there another delayed passenger and bus manager laughed at how out of breath I was. He asked me  if I had ever missed a flight before, hence the frantic running. Which I laughed and replied that I never have, and plan not to. I sat down into my seat, looked at the time. I made it 8 minutes before departure time. A word of advice, just plan to arrive 30-45 minutes before departure because you never know what could happen, even if it is suggested to arrive 15 minutes before departure. We ended up waiting 10 minutes after the initial departure time. 

The bus ride was slightly long but comfortable as no one was sitting next to me, meaning I could sit with both legs up. It was lovely being able to leave the skyscrapers and watch them melt away into trees. Usually on the highway back home, when you drive away from the city, all you end ups seeing are flat planes of grass and bush which we call “veldt” (pronounced ‘felt’). So seeing forests or rows of trees was interesting. I worked a bit on updating my journal, and then ended up taking a nap for about 2 hours. Casey was already waiting for me once we arrived, and gave a warm and welcoming hug. He told me that I was most probably the 100th fellow he’s met over the years, and that I could’ve been the youngest so far. This surprised me, as it was not something I noticed when looking through the past fellows (mental note to ask on this). Union station was so beautifully built, with a large dome overhead, decorated with gold square panelling. Casey shared a nostalgic memory of randomly meeting and having been greeted by the president George W. Bush at the station. Exiting the station and seeing Washington DC was such a huge contrast to New York. No tall skyscrapers and definitely a whole lot more quiet. And I welcomed it. Casey and I walked around for a bit, him showing some of his old haunts, while looking for a good place to sit and eat. It gave me time to soak up the environment which I must say was quiet, quaint and very suburban energy. We found a place to sit at and chatted away while eating. Amongst other things, we shared backgrounds, spoke on the fellowship, his personal experience of it, and his relationship to apexart & Steven which spans almost 20 years! 

We then headed over to Library of Congress. This was my first time being in the passenger seat of a left hand side driving car and it was such a weird experience, haha! The first mistake I made was instinctively going to the drivers side door, thinking it was the passenger side. The next was internally questioning why Casey would drive into the lane he’s was turning into, only to remember that where I was. Walking into the Library of congress was insane! The architecture immediately transported me out of America and into Europe. It was absolutely ostentatious with sculptures everywhere and beautiful wall murals & mosaics of mythology. Casey explained that this level of ostentation was a compensation for the superiority complex that America against Europe at the time. We made it to the actual library area, and it was quite a sight. Ive never seen something like this in my life and felt like out of a movie. The architectural detailing when looking at the dome in the middle but also the interaction of all the art & carvings was unreal. A lot of the mural writings and references seemed extremely progressive for a structure built in the 1800’s considering the documentation of cultures & religions from across the world. Casey gave me a tour of the whole place and even took me to other parts of the building that tourists did not go to, as he spent almost 20 years of his life frequenting these buildings while working on his PHD, so knew his way around. The wealth of knowledge that I was surrounded by, all in one place, from various era’s & timelines & places, was quite overwhelming. It was a lovely experience nonetheless, however at this point I had quite a headache. We finished our tour of The Library of Congress and headed to the Hotel. Casey waited before leaving to make sure that everything was alright with my check in. I can’t thank him enough for sharing his experiences with me and our conversations, which like Vanessa, made me a little sad knowing it would be the first and last time meeting up, until the future allows another meeting. 

I checked into the hotel, rested, then prepped myself for the last activity of the day: Classical music concert. Unlike NYC, and more like Johannesburg, DC has a simple subway system. The Concert was happening all the way in Mary Land, and I was initially a bit worried about how i’d get to and from. But using the train and bus, I made it. Awkwardly for me, in this instance, I made it 30 minutes before the start of the event. Even more awkward and confusing was that I realised it was happening in someone’s private home, in a residential neighbourhood. Awkward then turned into worried because I didn’t know if I should ring the door bell, or just wait outside at a nearby park. But then I got scared because I got worried that someone might call the police on me, seeing me randomly roam the streets at night. I think in that moment for the first time being in the States, I became acutely aware of what I look like, how I could be perceived, and just the stories I’ve seen online. After 5 Minutes of waiting around, I worked up the courage to ring the door bell. The owner looked slightly confused even after I explained why I was there, which didn’t ease my feelings of awkwardness. Once he let me in, I was greeted by the performers, a young lady and young man, and proceeded to sit and wait in the performance room. Placing my feelings aside, I must say, to have a performance room that can accommodate 30 people, with soundproofing and a whole grand piano was unreal. Thats a dream! I still felt quite uneasy and still hyperaware, but people started arriving and filling up the seats. As they greeted each other, I realised that even though this event was posted onto eventbrite, almost everyone in the audience were just neighbours and friends of the homeowner. So in that moment I understood the slight confusion or surprise he must’ve had when seeing me.

Once the performance began, and the music filled my ears, a lot off what I felt melted away. In that moment I remember thinking to myself how music works so well at being a universal language that people from different backgrounds, who don’t even know each other, can just feel so connected through it. The young female performer was the lead, and played the violin. I couldn’t believe that she was just 13 years old. The question of nature vs. nurture comes up. Once the performance was over, I made my way back to the hotel. I was exhausted, hungry and cold. 

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 16

Today, I looked forward to speaking with Sonia again, which I did not think was going to happen until I saw it scheduled in my calendar. I think this time, I felt a lot more prepared in asking some of the questions I had. I guess the first time we spoke, it was more about getting to know one another and the places we were in. This time, I wanted to find out how this program was going for her in terms of the difference in pace of her life in NY vs. Uruguay, and share what we both thought of the program itself.  Like me, she’s definitely been struggling to keep up with the daily journaling, which we shared a laugh but encouraged each other to keep going. She also did mention that she notices the difference in pace, being in Uruguay where people are a lot more slower paced - to the point where she sometimes finds herself walking too fast on the heels of someone haha! I will agree and say, NY is quite fast paced and everyone is on a mission to somewhere. 

As we eded off our call we realised there’s an overlap between her arriving back in New York, an me still being here. So we thought it would be nice to also physically meet up. 

My next activity was going to the transit museum with Nia and it was such a hidden gem! The entrance to the museum looks exactly like a subway entrance, so I’m sure a lot of people either miss it, or people walk into it confused. As we walked in, Nia mentioned that the museum was an old train station that still has an active line. Reading on the history of the subway system and finding out about all parties involved in the construction of it, I would say I have a new-found respect for something that is seen as ‘mundane’ or normal. I think it would be an appropriate moment to use the phrase “they ran so we could walk”, but in context to our daily use of the subways. I appreciate some of the activities I’ve had from the previous day because they’ve added wider context to some of my other activities. For example, I’m glad I went to MOCA and the labor studies with Barrie as they both added context to my comprehension of the labor unions that were created during the construction of the subway system. Less work hours, and higher wages. 

One thing I also really liked about the transit museum was the documentation of anything and everything related to the subway. This meant, the evolution of train route maps, the evolution of advertising in the train cars, the transition of turnstiles when entering the subway, and lastly the overall aesthetic of trains through the years. Nia and I discussed some of the design choices we observed regarding the evolution of interior design elements such as cushioned & fabric seating as opposed to the current plastic seating. We then made a comparison to other subway systems around the world. Which also made me realise that everything is a design choice based on the functionalities, needs & efficiency of the era and environment its been created in. 

Straight afterwards, I quickly grabbed some Onigiri to eat, and realised that the transit museum was right opposite the Quaker prayer centre/ church. That felt comforting knowing exactly where I was, cause most times it feels like I’m constantly ‘lost’ in a new place. I then made my way over to the NY Public Library. Definitely not like many libraries I know, it was designed well, with open space planing on the ground floor allowing people to work on one side but then on the other side was a gathering spot where people could meet and chat. I made my way up to the floor where the Spanish class was happening and when I looked at my calendar again, I realised it was an Intermediate Spanish class. I just remember thinking, “oh no! I’m considered basic, how will this class treat me?”. Regardless, I was looking forward to interacting with Spanish as I tried learning it a couple years ago using Duolingo… Its definitely much more different when hearing it in person. 

As I walked in, we had to introduce ourselves as well as share our opinion on a famous quote by Andy Warhol on his thoughts that everyone should have the right to 15 minutes of fame. This was asked in Spanish, and we had to reply in Spanish. I tried pulling my phone out for google translate but could only say “Hola, my name is Mvelo. Apologies, I’m new to this so don’t have much vocabulary”.  I was warmly welcomed and advised to be open to listening as everyone went onto introduce themselves around the circle. We then went through a power point presentation on famous people and the awards that they were given. Everyone in the circle took a turn to read paragraphs and translate it. Because there was a lot of repetition, I started understanding what was written on the slides and also took note of words and their meanings. So when it was my turn to read and translate, I knew what to do. Its like it clicked in my brain. At the end of the class, I realised I could understand some of the questions that were being asked on the presentation as Spanish is not too far a foreign language from English. The sentence structure was also easier to catch onto unlike other languages. I made an acquaintance, Damani, through the class who shared some tips on learning Spanish and some materials I could look into. We followed each other on instagram and realised that we have a mutual friend! It’s funny how the world can be small at times and clearly, in one way or another, we are all connected somehow. 

I made my way back home and along the way, walked passed Grand Central. I definitely got hit with the same feeling like when I first saw it: So Alluring and Grand on the outside when looking at the central statue. Once I got to the apartment, I went into prep mode for my trip to Washington DC the following morning. I’m so excited!

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 15

This morning, I tried getting through some journaling that I missed from some of the-previous days. I didn’t really think I would struggle with keeping up, yet here I am. I think its because I got tired at one point and was not able to write in the evening or the morning and it just snowballed from there. I can definitely tell the difference in the benefits of writing soon after a day has ended as opposed to writing a couple days later and trying to recall memories. 

Today I’ll be doing my weekly check ins with Nia and Nancy. 

Just the same as last week, I started recalling and sharing some of my experiences of the weeks highlights. I told Nia about my feelings on the visit to the Synagogue as well as the Bhakti centre experience and bumping into someone I know from home. One thing I forgot to ask Nia was my curiosity around why my schedule has been created the way it has and why I’ve been given those specific activities - or rather what was the influence behind the choices in activity. Did it differ from previous fellows? And if so, how much?

Not asking these questions to complain at all though! 

One phrase that stuck with me when I spoke to Steven, that he mentioned, as he was passing by is: “Familiarity breeds contempt"… Been thinking about this on a personal level. 

The waiting area in Nancy’s office has rearranged again. Each visit has shown me different interior looks in progression, hahaha! I’m hoping that on my last visit next week, I’ll be able to see the ‘after’/post construction arrangement. As a general note, it’s nice being able to witness moments of progression of things such as plants growing, buildings being constructed or even people growing.  Today, Nancy looked cool in her leather jacket, and we sat down and started speaking a bit about my thoughts on the journal entry I made referring to volunteering. 

At this point, I was quite exhausted. I wasn’t able to sleep too well the night before because I could hear my apartment neighbours (I think they’re students and I hear them from time to time) but I was also going through some Day 1 period cramps and then ended up on a phone call with my mom. Time difference between SA & NY is 7 hours with SA being ahead. So going to Zumba was not at the top of my list, especially cause of how far uptown it was, but I also didn’t want to succumb to a missed opportunity. I knew my way to the location as it was the same place as where I did the Bellydance workout. This time, the class was full! It was also my first time doing Zumba and boy oh boy, it was for sure a paced workout. It was really awesome though, the tempo, music and flow of Zumba. Unlike Bellydancing, I was able to keep up with the dance styles which were quite similar to my experience with the Line dancing. However, because of my fatigue and state of body, overall I couldn’t enjoy the experience as I would have on any other day. Since my energy levels did drop towards the end, it brought me to reminding myself not too push too hard sometimes. 

I made my way back to the apartment, had something too eat and went to sleep as quickly as I could. 

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 14

Today I woke up to SNOW! It was snowing and everything looked so beautiful! I did not think that I would be able to see a snow day during my time here. It was really cold, but felt magical. One thing I did think about was where do all the homeless people go when its this cold and this type of weather? Today on the list was heading to Queens to sit in on an AA meeting. After hoping into the train, I started researching more on where the AA meeting was going to be held because I was worried about the weather. I saw that it said “outdoor” for the meeting venue and I worried if it was still going to happen. Nonetheless I thought to continue to at least try and go to the park even if it means I just see the park. However, halfway through my train ride, I got a notification from Nia letting me know it was cancelled. Along with the AA meeting being cancelled, my next activity was also cancelled. Meeting with Vanessa, my last activity, was also subject to change. So I essentially had an impromptu free morning. Since it was quite cold, I decided to rather head back to the apartment. 

I later got a message from Nia letting me know that Vanessa was still up to meet with me and that I could meet her in Brooklyn right around the corner from Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM). At this point, I still didn’t realise who Vanessa was, so wondered what we would be talking about. When we finally met, she mentioned Solam’s (the wonderful person who nominated me for this program) name. And it clicked! Months prior to me arriving in NY, Solam had shared his experience with me, of studying in New York and meeting Vanessa while she worked at a restaurant. They hit it off and became fast friends. They reconnected last year when Solam had gone to New York, and during the time they met, Vanessa had mentioned to Solam that she needed to go to work however he could tag along as there was an exhibition on apartheid happening where she would be working. This exhibition space turned out to be Apexart. 

When it clicked, I wanted to share my appreciation as she was also a part of the process of me being here. As we walked over to a coffee shop, we stopped by a Ballet studio where she would sometimes go to as she was a dancer. Once we got to the cafe, we spoke for a while. She told me about her background and her connection to Steven, Nancy and Apexart. I really really enjoyed speaking with Vanessa and connecting with her. Ah wow! So much gratitude. I was going to share this with Solam and send him a photo that Vanessa and I took together. 

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 13

I initially had plans to wander around today, for my free day, but could not bring myself to go out. I think because of the constant movement of the last 2 weeks and even before my arrival in NY, I hadn’t really had a moment to just sit and do ‘nothing’. I welcomed my break by watching my continued favourite series “The Walking Dead” which now being in the States, has definitely contextualised a few things for me. I’m such a huge fan of this series because of the moral dilemmas that occur in the face of ‘humanity against the world’ and also exploring hypothetical apocalyptic scenarios in my head. 

One thing that keeps pulling me back into the reality of where I am is the sirens that I can frequently hear from the streets below. In some respects, the audio landscapes remind me of the area I grew up in called Yeoville, so it’s also weirdly comforting. So far, I’ve been doing all my grocery shopping at Target since its quite close to the apartment, and inspite of my initial concerns surrounding budgeting, I think I’m doing well. Whats been saving me most is that I’ve been cooking meals. I actually haven’t taken a moment throughout my journaling to reflect on the cost of living here. It’s quite insane seeing the cost of things here vs. what people are on average getting paid. Just converting the numbers into Rands, is also quite a shock. The other day when meeting up with Nia, we spoke a little bit about Health Insurance and other costs of living and how people are generally living day to day, hoping to make it.

I had to acknowledge the privileged position I’m currently in, to have been able to afford some of the costs of being here as well as having the time to do so. Definitely thanks to my support system back home.

By the way, the image attached below is an analytical screenshot of how much walking I’ve been doing. Within the last year, this month (Feb) has been the most I’ve walked…. I’m a little bit shocked and afraid of how unfit I’ve been (haha). Some days, I’ve even gotten 14000 (9.5 km) steps in. Sho! No complaints here.

image

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 9

I woke up feeling quite tired. I think the excitement of all these new adventures have definitely caught up with me and I’m feeling a little slow. Today, I was starting my day off by meeting Sonia, a photographer from NY who is also currently part of the fellowship but placed in Uruguay. We had a zoom call and introduced ourselves to each other, and spoke on the new environments we were in. I liked the idea of knowing that I was not alone in this ‘experiment’. Because this was a first time meeting, naturally I felt a little bit awkward because I didn’t have many questions to ask Sonia. But lucklily our conversation naturally flowed and she shared her thoughts on home (NY) and also shared some suggestions for the best place for me to shop for groceries. We spoke a bit about what Uruguay was like and she said that in more tourist areas they spoke some English, but otherwise she had to rely on her Spanish which she could speak. Unlike me, Sonia was on the opsite end of the weather spectrum and was constantly hot, so she was hoping for the weather to cool down. Its cool how you can become a vessel for people to remotely experience a place. 

Soon after, I had a zoom on the famous novel ‘War & Peace’ by Tolstoy, and how to best tackle reading it. One interesting point that was mentioned was that usually when reading, we tend to want to rush into the book and get through as many chapters. But that usually leaves us tired of the book at some point, leaving us uninterested or needing a break. It was then suggested that one could break down the novel by reading a chapter, per day, resulting in the completion of the book within 314 days! (314 chapters in the book). My mom has previously encouraged me to read War & Peace when I was younger but I never got around to actually reading it, so maybe this was another reminder. Unfortunately at some point during the zoom, because of my fatigue, I fell asleep only to wake up 50 minutes later which was 30 minutes after the end of the meeting. That made me panic and embarrassed for a second as that doesn’t usually happen. Luckily the meeting had logged me out, as opposed to leaving me in it and I didn’t have a pressing activity to go to. 

I then decided to kill 2 birds with one stone, do some grocery shopping and also explore Union Square which was next on my calendar. One thing I really enjoy about Union Square is how much of a central point it is. Regarding the subway, its got multiple entrances which I’ve definitely gone out of at least once. Before arriving in NY, The map of Union Square park had me thinking it was a huge park, but once I arrived I was surprised at how much smaller it was from what I thought. One thing I don’t like much however is that you can’t walk on the grass  right up pop the statue, and are only able to sit or walk along the paved paths. I’ve heard that there is a market that pops up there as well which I seem to keep missing but will try to get to. I’ve been told by quite a few people that Union Square is a lovely neighbourhood to stay in, which I definitely see. I quickly did some grocery shopping at target to cook and make myself some creamy tomato pasta and white sauce stew for the week ahead. I cooked some food, and then joined my last activity:

Connecting to the Love Within Though Meditation. 

It was such a lovely meditative meeting with meditator Nirav Sheth. He started off by encouraging all of us to keep our cameras on and also prompted us to join in on speaking. He went through a presentation on the benefits of meditation, and then delved into the notion that the health of our body and mind depends on the health of our soul. This was quite interesting to me because most of the time when we think of a healthy lifestyle, we usually only think about our physical and minds. But we don’t always consider our soul. Nirav mentioned that the best way to tap into and work on the health of our soul is through meditation. He then guided us through a silent mediation that required us to detach ourselves from the happenings of the mind. Just be still with no thoughts. I found that difficult to do. I could maybe try and mute some of my thoughts but the hum and buzzing was definitely till around. I mentioned this to him and he said that it takes time, and focus.