TV as an Artform
morse code translation (download brochure above for
full text and images)
*Since the dawn of the cathode
tube, television has been one of the world’s most defining forms of expression.
From the broadcast of the first man to walk on the moon to
the first turd squeezed on to a pizza (Drawn Together Episode
107), television has demonstrated its massive ability to
change the world. Anyone can slap some paint on to a canvas
or take a picture of a baby dressed as a stupid flower, but
it takes a certain amount of, let’s call it “magic” to
bring TV to the masses.
TV unites the great and the small as one. How else could
a Noble Prize winner and an auto worker connect if not
for the shared joy of NBC’s Thursday
night lineup? The answer is that they couldn’t. Eventually, after hours
of trying to listen to the inane chitter-chatter of the lesser mind, the Nobel
prize winner would end up using a torque wrench to smash a large hole in his
own occipital lobe.
Certainly a glass-half-empty type might call TV a tick, sucking away all individuality,
and leaving us nothing more than husks filled with digested Cheetos and Sunny
Delight. Well I say go back to teaching Smart 101 at the University of Smartness,
Professor Smart Guy Ph Smart.
Before TV, the only form of entertainment was watching retarded
people fight their reflections in mirrors. God forbid you
were stuck at your house (they called
them “huts” back in olden times). Sure people sat around their living
room talking with each other. But most of the time, they talked about how great
it would be to have a TV.
One of the many awesome things about TV, which is awesome,
is that everyone is pretty. I would have sex with anyone
who lives inside my TV, definitely including
Lou Dobbs. I certainly can’t say that about that piece of shit invention
of Marconi’s, the “radio.” Or as I like to call it the “sucks-ass-dio.” For
no matter how smooth and silky Radio Folk sound, in fact all radio stars are
ugly! Uglier even than the stars of books. I know for a fact that everyone on
the radio has a face like that fat fuck Marconi’s greasy Italian anus.
Here it is: *. God, just thinking about radio makes me want to puke. (Or as they
say in Stupid Radio Language, |
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